Round and round we go

Total Time: No Riding

Song of the Day: Starflyer 59 – The Brightest of the Head

I will start by rewinding the clock to share in words the memorable experience that was dinner last night. To summarize, it was the single most enjoyable, needed, memorable meal of the trip. Coincidentally, I also consumed more food (meat, actually) and drink than at any other point on the trip.

The restaurant, called Carnivore, was known to be a meat-lover’s paradise featuring a fixed-price, set menu consisting of some meager (insignificant) appetizers and as much spit-roasted meat – from 8 different animals – as one cared to consume. One of our fellow riders had indicated such an establishment existed in Nairobi, and once aware, we executed a number of logistical maneuvers to ensure that we would have a booking for a table of 24 on a busy Saturday night. Big props to fellow rider Chris for making the call to the restaurant. Unfortunately, Chris was ill in the week leading up to our arrival in Nairobi and in the interest of recovery, went ahead to Nairobi and skipped a few days riding. Though we missed his presence, he did recover, and his early arrival in Nairobi meant we had a place at the table so to speak.

We arrived in a few different waves to the doors of this grilled paradise by 6pm and once we had most of the party present we were given the obligatory briefing. A few of us had a chuckle at how this message was delivered, the tone and words chosen as if to impress and possibly frighten patrons by the quantity and magnitude of the food on offer. These poor souls had no idea they had let the proverbial Trojan horse into their establishment: 24 very fit, exhausted individuals whose metabolisms and appetites were running at hereto unknown capacities. They could not know that I am an accomplished eater of note having consumed a 1.5kg cheeseburger in 15 minutes and a 17″ burrito in a mere 12. Game on.

I will give you the highlights here:

• It’s a given, but we ate a lot. I mean scary amounts of food.
• I ate the flesh of at least 9 (that I can recall) animals: pig, lamb, ox, ostrich, cow, crocodile, camel, chicken, turkey
• I earned EFS status – Every F*&!ing Skewer – for not turning down a single offering that arrived at the table
• Total time spent eating meat was 2 hours 53 minutes. It required nearly a full bottle of wine.
• My favorite items were the rosated pork loin and the ostrich meatballs

As expected, I was amongst the final few eaters. In the end, only 1 man was able to keep up, Canadian Daniel, and in an act of true sportsmanship we agreed to push aside our plates so that we could move onto dessert. In truth, the restaurant basically forced our hand by simply halting the serving of meat to our table. I could have eaten more but it was probably for the best. Dessert was OK but would have been better if it was available in the same “eat all you can” format as the meat. For kicks, we nominated Pierre as the chosen one for the classic “It’s his birthday” prank. He was a pretty good sport considering that 16 staff members came to the table with a small cake shooting sparks and erupted into a very rhythmic and harmonious Kenyan rendition of the Happy Birthday song. A humorous end to an epic night of eating. The settling of the bill was a laborious affair during which serious food coma started to settle upon me. We paid, grabbed a taxi, and sped back to camp. The cam bar, called The Rubber Elbow, was hopping, but my meat gut was demanding I get horizontal so that it could get started with final processing of the single largest intake of protein of my life. Fair enough.

The actual rest day was a delight. I awoke to cool temperatures and had my laundry washed and hanging by 8:30am. Breakfast was had at a delightful coffee bar at the shopping market and consisted of some eggs and amazing french toast capped off by an American-sized (i.e. obscenely large) mocha. And then another mocha. That would set the tone for the day, the effective routine being eat, go shop/run errands, return to eat. I did this 3 times and bought food stuffs, a new phone, a new duffel bag (mine has exploded at multiple seams), and a t-shirt. In the interim I consumed a ham/cheese croissant, muffin, milkshake, chicken burger with chips, quarter of a chicken, and a small pizza. All that and I was back at camp to shower and nap by 4pm. Brilliant.

Not much more to say. The ailing trucks have been repaired and the body feels absolutely amazing after the previous night’s meal. We have only 2 riding days into the city of Arusha (Tanzania) where we will effectively reach the half-way point (in time) for the trip and receive 3 consecutive rest days. My mind and body are in serious need of the rest and I am looking forward to checking into a comfortable hotel, eating, sleeping, and doing little of anything.